Thursday, July 06, 2006

Where the ho's at?

Since 2001 American politics have enjoyed unabashed congress with the surreal. The inauguration of the Bush administration signaled the rise of outcome determinative truth. Never before has one administration so fully asserted not only that it is right, but that it defines right. Inconvenient studies, facts, and opinions are ignored and punished. And when the truth becomes impossible to deny, then the messenger is helping the terrorists.

Meanwhile, back at the Beltway bunny ranch, a particular breed of playa' is looking to party. These sporting types can be identified by their bloat on lobbyist dollars and a debased sense of entitlement. I mean literally debased, void of any philosophy, meaning, or purpose other than to grow and control. And in a universe without meaning, an artificial truth must fill the void. Luckily, happy bedtime stories of Uncle Sam and Jesus provide the necessary diversion. But every good protagonist needs an antagonist. For every Jesus there must be a Devil, for every Santa a Grinch, and for Uncle Sugar, well, you got the Democrats.

All of this is well known to those of us who haunt to left side of blogtopia, obsessed with knowing the depth and breadth of the depravity. We entertain ourselves in the lefty blog bunker by poking fun at the johns who buy the story, and the pimps sell it.

The new Vanity Fair article cited by Walcott gives an excellent view into the mindset of a certain group of Washington pimps n' tricks. Johns like “Duke” Cunningham and “Dusty” Foggo developed their private hobby with Vietnamese bar girls and Honduran puntas. They emerged from their respective martial backgrounds with adolescence intact, expecting the world to drop its panties at the sight of their muscle. Dusty and Duke were an easy turn for panderers like lobbyists Wade and Wilkes. Large quid was paid by our boys for a relatively paltry pro quo. (And hey, how come no one told me I could get a multi-million dollar government contract for 100k, dammit).

Vanity Fair details the bliss on tap lifestyle indulged by the likes of Duke and Dusty, and describes how their solicitors give them everything they wanted. But the lurid details of the Cunningham grift have been available, at least generally, for months. So why hasn’t this sexy story broke big in the news? One might think a press corps which happily dived into the salacious orgy that was Clinton coverage circa 1998 would dig into this red meat without delay. It hasn't happened.

Cynics could lay that off as an embargo by the Beltway courtiers. I think it's something else.

This story needs a ho.

A red lipped, big tittied, jumbo hair wearing hoochie. The story won't get real legs without, well, real legs, and a pussy between them. What kept the folks in Iowa staring at the Clinton spectacle years after it obviously nothing more than a lie about sex? The bimbos. Somebody needs to go find a few of the girls that the Duke stirred. I bet an enterprising blogger could troll through the right Washington hotel bars with a few fidies and get a hell of a story. Sure would make that hit counter spin. And when all those bottom level John's, who have been buying the story for years, tricks like the Movie Star, the Perfessor, and Mary Ann, when they get a look that hoochie momma, happy stories about Santa and the flag just won't do it anymore.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Spy Agency Sought U.S. Call Records Before 9/11, Lawyers Say

June 30 (Bloomberg) -- The U.S. National Security Agency asked AT&T Inc. to help it set up a domestic call monitoring site seven months before the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks, lawyers claimed June 23 in court papers filed in New York federal court.

(Link to Google cache, having problem with original article)

If you're like me (and isn't everybody), you'll get a chuckle out of watching this video of a crazy lady in a low-cut cocktail dress ranting at her television about the treasonous New York Times. For more laughs, read the comments below from bedwetters breathlessly predicting that we're all doomed, DOOMED I TELL YOU! If she can keep up the batshit insane intensity, I think a certain little lady has a big future as a cable news commentor.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Man with 10-year erection awarded $400,000

Uh . . . nobody told me it was a contest.

Friday, June 30, 2006

Day-by-day, Chris Muir becomes more of a chickenhawk scumbag.

Here's the original Day-By-Day comic strip that inspired my o'magee. (Thanks to Steve in comments for finding it).

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Be advised, we got zips in the wire.

Looks like the cyberjihad is heating up down at the home of the flatulent jammies.

Internet Islamists on the hunt.

Michelle Malkin is experiencing problems with her weblog after being the target of cyberattacks. While they last, Pajamas Media will host her posts . . .

Yes, war is hell on the Keyboard Kommando front. Those potty-mouth Muslamofacsists are at it again.

"After receiving several threats and experiencing one denial of service attack upon appearing on Fox News Channel to display the Mohammed Cartoons, my site went down again this morning . . ."
But as long as brave Ms. Malkin goes down drawing fire, the cyberjahadists with never cyberattack the cyberheartland. Its like the flypaper strategy, only its cyberpaper, and you still have a hand free for the cybersex.

In not really related news: Hello infidel? Are you having Prince Albert in the can?
Marine in 'Fahrenheit 9/11' killed

DETROIT - A Marine and one-time recruiter who appeared in Michael Moore's documentary film "Fahrenheit 9/11" has died in a roadside bombing in Iraq. Staff Sgt. Raymond J. Plouhar, 30, died Monday of wounds suffered while conducting combat operations in Iraq's volatile Anbar province, the Defense Department said Tuesday.

Plouhar, who was stationed at Camp Pendleton, Calif., had taken four years off from active duty to serve as a recruiter in Flint after donating one of his kidneys to his uncle. He is seen in the 2004 film approaching prospective recruits in a mall parking lot.

America mourns, until distracted by the commercial for dollar Whoppers at the Burger King.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

And now, happy thoughts from our friends at REDSTATE!

Homosexuality - A Congenital Defect

Synopsis - what happens when a eugenics hobbyist is given unmonitored access to the Internets.

Seems that our new friend vbPhil found an article at BBC Online which he cites as:

"further proof that sexual orientation is not a personal choice. The study suggests that males who share the same mother with multiple older male siblings, may have been effected by the mothers body during gestation . . . Scientists from Michigan State University said: 'These data strengthen the notion that the common denominator between biological brothers, the mother, provides a prenatal environment that fosters homosexuality in her younger sons.'"
The study also proves that the unrestricted application of the Yokozuna by older brothers on younger brothers is having a terrible unintended effect. Hold on. The voice in vbPhil's head is suggesting something else. What's it telling you, vb?

"It tells me that homosexual tendencies should be considered a disease; a congenital defect. Once this has been established, then the logical next step would be to consider treatment options, just as we can now correct other congenital abnormalities."
Yeah! But before we can develop a cure were gonna need a place to keep them 'mos. Maybe something like a camp . . . Wait now. Before the v-man can even pitch a tent, he want's to start with the medical experiments.

"Perhaps newborns should be treated with hormone therapy under certain conditions, in much the same way as they are placed under special lights to reverse the yellowing effect of jaundice."
Or you know what would be cool? If we inject die into their eyes so they look like Marilyn Manson! Bitchin'!

"Babies who are born with severely cleft pallets are no longer left to suffer their condition. Why should we suffer babies to be confused about their sexual orientation throughout their lives."
Yeah, and and what about the baby boys who are gay and have cleft pallets? They face the horror of a lifetime of doing sloppy blow jobs. Death, where is your sting?

"Yes, this study may be more valuable than I first thought. Perhaps a horrible malady can now be properly addressed as a medical condition, rather than as a simple life style choice that demands equality under the law."
Next up: special quarantine for those poor souls who contract Moonbat Syndrome.

Friday, February 20, 2004

Bush Administration attempts to invent "Clinton Recession"

(W)hen economic history is rewritten -- with political consequences -- that's going too far. President George W. Bush's Council of Economic Advisers, chaired by Harvard economist N. Gregory Mankiw, is trying to get away with exactly such revisionist history. The CEA's Economic Report of the President, released Feb. 9, unilaterally changed the start date of the last recession to benefit Bush's reelection bid. Instead of using the accepted start date of March, 2001, the CEA announced that the recession really started in the fourth quarter of 2000 -- a shift that would make it much more credible for the Bush Administration to term it the "Clinton Recession." In a subsequent press conference, Mankiw said that the CEA had looked at the available data and "made the call."