Sunday, July 27, 2003

About Nigergate: President Bush's Statement Reassuring Americans He Did Not Mislead Them About Getting a Blowjob

" . . . I wanted to take this opportunity to personally assure the good people of America that I have not and will not ever mislead them about getting a hot & sloppy Oval Office hummer. In these days of uncertainty, continued economic stagnation, and historic deficits and unemployment, I will not lie about mouth-scrogging a chunky intern. As America's reputation takes a one-way Jet-Ski vacation with the Ty-D-Bol Man, I will not mince words about getting my chorizo nibbled. And as a whole new generation of young Americans settles in to their own Vietnam-like bloodbath, I pledge to never, ever sully the sanctity of the Presidency by denying a few extramarital blowjobs & soggy cigars. "



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