Saturday, August 16, 2003



ITS HERE: The "RUSH CHUGS A HOAGIE" T-Shirt!*

Inspired by the Roundboy's rebuke of all effete libruls "daintily nibbling" at their grinders, heroes, and sub sandwiches. "You're supposed to need a shower when you finish one!", exclaims Rush. "Your face is supposed to be all gooey!" Rush goes on to point out that swiss cheese is for "hoity-toity" east-coast elitists. True Americans order Velveeta or Cheese Whiz.

Wear this t-shirt and tell the world how real men like Rush tackle a footlong. Its the greatest celebration of machismo since G. Gordon Liddy commented enthusiastically about the protruding manhood of the jumpsuited George W. Bush.

Now, for our readers keeping score:

- Getting "all gooey" on a "footlong hero": NOT GAY

- Taking small bites: GAY.

- Checking out another guy's package: DEFINITELY NOT GAY.

- Ordering swiss cheese: HARVEY FIERSTEIN ON FIRE ISLAND GAY.

If you have any questions, be sure to order the t-shirt. Glad we can help.

* NOTE: All profits from "Rush Chugs a Hoagie" merchandise to be donated to the winner of the Democratic Presidential Primary.



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