Thursday, July 06, 2006

Where the ho's at?

Since 2001 American politics have enjoyed unabashed congress with the surreal. The inauguration of the Bush administration signaled the rise of outcome determinative truth. Never before has one administration so fully asserted not only that it is right, but that it defines right. Inconvenient studies, facts, and opinions are ignored and punished. And when the truth becomes impossible to deny, then the messenger is helping the terrorists.

Meanwhile, back at the Beltway bunny ranch, a particular breed of playa' is looking to party. These sporting types can be identified by their bloat on lobbyist dollars and a debased sense of entitlement. I mean literally debased, void of any philosophy, meaning, or purpose other than to grow and control. And in a universe without meaning, an artificial truth must fill the void. Luckily, happy bedtime stories of Uncle Sam and Jesus provide the necessary diversion. But every good protagonist needs an antagonist. For every Jesus there must be a Devil, for every Santa a Grinch, and for Uncle Sugar, well, you got the Democrats.

All of this is well known to those of us who haunt to left side of blogtopia, obsessed with knowing the depth and breadth of the depravity. We entertain ourselves in the lefty blog bunker by poking fun at the johns who buy the story, and the pimps sell it.

The new Vanity Fair article cited by Walcott gives an excellent view into the mindset of a certain group of Washington pimps n' tricks. Johns like “Duke” Cunningham and “Dusty” Foggo developed their private hobby with Vietnamese bar girls and Honduran puntas. They emerged from their respective martial backgrounds with adolescence intact, expecting the world to drop its panties at the sight of their muscle. Dusty and Duke were an easy turn for panderers like lobbyists Wade and Wilkes. Large quid was paid by our boys for a relatively paltry pro quo. (And hey, how come no one told me I could get a multi-million dollar government contract for 100k, dammit).

Vanity Fair details the bliss on tap lifestyle indulged by the likes of Duke and Dusty, and describes how their solicitors give them everything they wanted. But the lurid details of the Cunningham grift have been available, at least generally, for months. So why hasn’t this sexy story broke big in the news? One might think a press corps which happily dived into the salacious orgy that was Clinton coverage circa 1998 would dig into this red meat without delay. It hasn't happened.

Cynics could lay that off as an embargo by the Beltway courtiers. I think it's something else.

This story needs a ho.

A red lipped, big tittied, jumbo hair wearing hoochie. The story won't get real legs without, well, real legs, and a pussy between them. What kept the folks in Iowa staring at the Clinton spectacle years after it obviously nothing more than a lie about sex? The bimbos. Somebody needs to go find a few of the girls that the Duke stirred. I bet an enterprising blogger could troll through the right Washington hotel bars with a few fidies and get a hell of a story. Sure would make that hit counter spin. And when all those bottom level John's, who have been buying the story for years, tricks like the Movie Star, the Perfessor, and Mary Ann, when they get a look that hoochie momma, happy stories about Santa and the flag just won't do it anymore.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Spy Agency Sought U.S. Call Records Before 9/11, Lawyers Say

June 30 (Bloomberg) -- The U.S. National Security Agency asked AT&T Inc. to help it set up a domestic call monitoring site seven months before the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks, lawyers claimed June 23 in court papers filed in New York federal court.

(Link to Google cache, having problem with original article)

If you're like me (and isn't everybody), you'll get a chuckle out of watching this video of a crazy lady in a low-cut cocktail dress ranting at her television about the treasonous New York Times. For more laughs, read the comments below from bedwetters breathlessly predicting that we're all doomed, DOOMED I TELL YOU! If she can keep up the batshit insane intensity, I think a certain little lady has a big future as a cable news commentor.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Man with 10-year erection awarded $400,000

Uh . . . nobody told me it was a contest.